I saw that someone had liked this tweet... but when I clicked on the thread, the plot thickened and I couldn't stop reading!
Co-worker got his lunch stolen and they’ve agreed to let him watch the security camera tape. This is the most excited I’ve ever been at any job ever. Ever.— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 29, 2018
Case facts:— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 29, 2018
Lunch was in fridge for less than an hour before it vanished. No shrimp smell remnants in the microwave or kitchen area. This was a professional hit no doubt
We'll fast forward (because there's some language in the tweets that I probably shouldn't share).
But suffice to say, the co-worker came back after viewing the tape and KNOWS who took his lunch.
Her motives remain completely unknown. In lieu of what he saw on the tape he has decided to not to press the matter anymore. I can’t say I blame him. We don’t know what this women’s fully capable of— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 29, 2018
After charges were dropped, HR sent a company wide email about not stealing people’s lunches. She is scheduled to arrive at work in 20min. My blood is on cocaine— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
Fast forward... she comes back to the office and everyone's waiting to see what happens.
She's the only one in the room who doesn't know that she's been identified as the guilty party.
!!!! After seeing the HR email she says out loud “woah. Someone stole a lunch? Who would do something like that?” !!! I may have to run out of this room— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
She says, "Oh, it was your lunch? Well, why would you go to HR about that?"
He says, "It's not ok to throw someone's food away".
(Edited for language. I need this job. Just saying.)
Dude just sighed and went back to work after she said what she said. She looks frightwningly calm— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
Who said "revenge is a dish best served cold"? Seems like it was a line in The Godfather, but I think it's been used a lot.
Anyway, on with our story. At this point, Zak, our storyteller, inserts himself into the drama--
She took the fried rice from me with a big smile on her face. She’s eating it and loving it. This is utter ruthlessness— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
I wish I could close this up with a neat little bow, but, it appears that we may never know why she did it. Maybe she doesn’t know she did it. Either way I’m now forced to work 40hrs a week next to a cold blooded individual— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
Hey, even the non-ending is getting big props from the Twitterverse....
I love this ending. I don't need to know why she did it, I enjoyed the ride.— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) March 30, 2018
Thanks for today.
All this took place on Friday. Today is Monday.
Let's check back in on the office drama...
She has not seen any of this. OR she is thoroughly and convincingly pretending not that have seen it. Either way I’m still alive. Thank you for reading.— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) April 2, 2018
Not since the hard boiled egg incident on The Office has one person's lunch created such a disruption in the workplace...